Debate on eBay

Earlier in the week, I was instructed by God to search eBay. The Almighty told me that I must search until I find what He wishes me to. I would like to announce that I have found it.

It seems a sinner has put up for sale 10 minutes of intense debate on eBay (Go to auction) he claims that he may crush whoever wins the bid. However, this brings up an interesting question...Could he crush me, a messenger of the only true God in existence today? God has told me that I must debate this heathen subhuman, and therefore I shall bid on this auction when the timing is right.

The Lord hath instructed me to apologize to all our online followers. As of late, we have been so busy here at the church of EMLDS that we have not had time to keep tabs on this site. Although, we have just converted a soul who may show promise in updating the church website regularly. I, Elohimus will still be available for dialogue as I am the only qualified person on this earth to preach the true word of His Gospel.

Remember true believers, heathens are barbarians. They will spread their message of medicine and evolution to persuade people of Satan’s message. Be strong, it is acceptable to judge a heathen and tell her (as most heathens are female) that she is going to hell.