The Lord Commandeth
Faithful members, as you are most undoubtedly aware, our congregation is experiencing a financial crisis. If we do not receive funds soon, our charge against Satan and his minions will have to be suspended. However, The Lord hath provided us with hope! Listen:
Even now in thine most desperate hour, thou shalt not faulter. Go to thine Google and geteth its new adsense program. Then thou must commadeth thine soldiers to click on the add once in order to receive funds for thine efforts.
There we have it children of God! The Lord hath commanded us to click on the add on the top of this blog and shop around. If you like anything, by all means buy it and donate it to our cause. But at least click! If you do not click, you will have more repenting to do when you get to the Gates. As your spiritual leader, I would advise clicking.
Some heathens out there may criticize this posting as "selloutishness." To them I would respond, nay! I am not a sellout, I am doing the work of God and you will thank me when you are converted.
Remember saints, if you click on the add, you will be given 2000 heaven points with which you may buy a new Ferrari or add-on to your mansion in heaven! It's a lot to gain for such little work.