Someone in the Congregation is Thinking!

I know it sounds weird, but the Lord has just informed me that some members of our congregation are performing acts of thought. Let me state this again for all new members to this church. Thought and intellect was invented by Satan to keep the masses doubting God. If you ever feel like you are going to think, don't.

Let me explain how our brains work. Our thoughts are simply a bunch of random electrical signals floating around our brain. Electrical signals are controlled by physics, and physics was invented by Satan.

The holy spirit, inspiration, and emotions are the only thought processes allowed under God. If you find yourself doubting anything about this church, it is most likely thought. In which case you should drop to your knees immediately and pray. Ask God to forgive you for ever doubting him and tell him that you will have faith and won't think in the future. Thought is dangerous.

Remember saints, the reason God called a prophet is so God could do the thinking and pass the message down to the prophet. Then the prophet passes the message on to you. Saints should be worried about making meals and spending quality time with family discussing how to stay out of hell...not worrying about thinking.

Have faith in your God, have faith in your prophet, and let us tell you what you should and should not do. Don't make that decision for yourself! You don't know how to get to heaven...we do.