Brokeback Mountain: Guns, Cowboys, and Christians

Brokeback Mountain, it won countless academy awards for best in show among others. But is it a story of love, perseverance, and freedom's reign? Or is it a movie carefully timed and executed by one of the craftiest individuals ever to serve Satan himself?

I will now attempt to see through the carefully devised veil to discover the hidden truth behind this mystery of a movie.

Flaw 1. Honestly saints, do you think for one moment that any cowboy living in the early 1800s would ever be gay? No, there are no real gay cowboys! This is the movies first downfall, if it takes place in the 1800s, then its obviously fake. Gays weren't invented until the 1980s with the coming of neon colors and snap bracelets.

Flaw 2. If this is a story about cowboys, why is the director from Taiwan?

Flaw 3. Coca Cola was invented in 1886, the train was invented in the 1500s, and the cowboy hat was invented in 1865 so all these details check out. However, the costume manager forgot one tiny detail...Jean Jackets. Everyone can agree that the Jean Jacket was invented by a gay person. And if you'll recall, gay people weren't invented until the 80s. Uh Oh! Looks like somebody didn't pay attention to detail! Obviously fake.

Flaw 4. Finally we come to the straw that hehe...I can't believe I am gonna say this...BROKE the camel's BACK! Anyway, women. Women are the final downfall of this bogus journey. You see, cowboys don't interact with women. They drink beer, chew tobacco, watch NASCAR, and shoot guns but they don't have any connection to women whatsoever. This movie depicts cowboys caring about women, and thus exposing the film's fraudulence.

As always, your comments are welcome.