This Really Made a Prophet Mad...

Among people who pretend not to hate and judge others, Mormons are about the most hypocritical. I just read an article posted by the Vancouver Sisters that warns about a car break in while they were at church. I will post their article and comments so that I can destroy their posting with my deadly logic.

Title: WARNING: Car Break-In at the Church

Sadly, criminals are snooping in our cars while we're attending church meetings. A MC ward sister had her car broken into during Sacrament meeting today. She had unfortunately left her purse in the car. Among her losses were $300 she was going to use to purchase food storage items. Please make sure that while you're at the church, you take valuables with you.

Comment:

That is just so wrong. They know what people are doing on a Sunday, at church, and they just don't care. GRRRRR.

The tone starts off as if to say, "how dare someone break into my car on a Sunday!" This brazen miscalculation is typical of people we would like to convert. First it assumes that nothing is ever stolen on Sunday which makes this situation atypical! Then it also says that the writer never considered that maybe the thief isn't Mormon, so they might not have a problem with stealing things on Sunday.

Then the author mentions a brief snippet that the girl left her purse in the car, knowing Mormons, I would bet that the car wasn't even locked. Furthermore, she probably put a sign on the top that said, middle class white female who thinks her purse won't be stolen because crime is for sinners and sinners don't exist!

For all of you who don't know what food storage is, I will explain. The Mormons believe that in the last days there will be what the book of revelations calls a "tribulation." Mormons are simply told to store food to prepare for this tribulation. My question is this, "if someone stole your purse...then they are most likely desperate. If you were a considerate person, you might think ever so fleetingly that the person who stole your money probably needed it more than you. Especially, if you were going to use that money to buy food items to store in your basement and gather dust."

We all know the truth anyway, she was going to use that money to buy marijuana or crack. Mormons are addicts, everyone knows this.

Finally, the comment says that whoever stole the money just doesn't care. This comment is one of hopelessness and despair. It contains so much judgment within a small sentence that it's almost amazing. Basically, the commenter is trying to point out that the world outside of church (they) is a place of indifference and predation. In conclusion, I would like to propose a different way to look at this situation. To girl who got her purse stolen: "Why don't you write this one off as the only real charity that you have or will ever give and continue storing food for yourself, which you will never use." Mankind has been predicting the end of the world since the invention of writing, you aren't the chosen generation, trust me, I read your posts.